290kg is loaded on the bar at deadlift training. My goal is to hit as many reps as I can and I know it is going to be tough! Usually I let the passion inferno spill into my veins and let it bring pure chaos to the set, but this time was different... As I sat preparing my mind the first thing that popped into my head was “Why am I doing this? You know you are going to be in pain, it is going to hurt and you will struggle, so WHY are you doing this to your self?” I snapped back and meditated myself to have enough intensity to get the set done. There was definitely something missing, a piece of clarity was gone, my 'why' was foggy.
The moment in the intro was 2 weeks ago. At the age of 26 I see this moment is the bi-product of a year of thinking about how close I am getting to 30 years old and if I want to continue my pursuit to Powerlifting greatness and growing a business/gym. Perhaps a moment of making sure this is the path I want to be taking as I dive deeper into my adult hood.
I had a feeling of emptiness, something was missing, where is the passion that usually burns inside. I still have the love for my business ‘Ultra Fitness and Strength’ and I still love Powerlifting but it just felt different and I couldn't figure out why. A feeling of emptiness was present and something had to be done. I have spent a lot of this year searching, researching, talking to mentors and exploring my mind for answers.
A Thirst For Something New - A WEDGE!
One thing I noticed with the feeling of emptiness was a thirst for something new, you know the kind of thirst like when you wake up at 2am in the middle of the night? Yeah, like that! After much thought I realised for the past 3-4 years as a personal trainer and gym owner my life was basically lifting and teaching people to lift, NO WONDER I WAS THIRSTY, I WAS BORED! I needed a wedge between my work and my life! Powerlifting is still a hobby but it is slightly more than that now, I enjoy it but with the level I am trying to get to there are things that HAVE to be done rather than WANT to be done.
I set out to explore idea’s: “Maybe drawing lessons?” or “Maybe I could learn to public speak,” I rattled off dozens of idea’s and one that resonated was golf! The thought of putting head phones in and tinkering away on the golf course of a morning before work sounded fantastic and very therapeutic. So I let the idea rattle around in my brain for a few weeks until I finally had the courage to pull the trigger.
My mind flipped back and forth deciding whether I should call up for golf lessons or not. I tried calling 3 coaches and they were all unavailable and I remember thinking to myself “Maybe it is a dumb idea anyway,” I thought better of it and rang up a guy named Mat. With a few nerves I started the conversation “Ahhh hi there, my name is Jake, I have never played a game of golf before and I have no equipment, could I book in for a lesson?” I felt like such a newbie but there was a part of me that LOVED it, I am NEW at something again, I have no f**king idea what I am doing and I LOVED it! Anyway, Mat was comforting and the first session was booked.
A feeling of adventure and freedom came across me. I was nervous and anxious for my first golf lesson! I have competed on some very high level Powerlifting platforms before and I was experiencing similar nerves for a putting lesson! I FELT GREAT! I felt so good I couldn’t shut up about it, I told everyone about having a lesson and how excited I was.
Creating The Wedge Between Life and Work
Full of excitement I arrived 10 minutes early for my putting lesson. I sat patiently as 25 minutes ticked past, “Did he forget about my lesson?” You could imagine how much this heightened my nerves as disappointment also kicked in. Just as I get up to leave Mat swings around on a golf cart to apologise! I took this moment as the universe giving me a sign and also testing me, perhaps this is the quench for my thirst after all!
We started our lesson and I enjoyed how terrible I was. It had been so long since I tried something new and the cool thing about it was it was okay to be bad at it. In this case, being in a place of not knowing what I didn't know was invigorating and refreshing. I cannot explain the feeling very well but it is some what euphoric to me as I love to learn with an open mind.
As I went back to personal training, Powerlifting and general business stuff as usual I felt a sense of being content and relaxed. Although this might not have been the complete answer to my loss of clarity it has certainly uncovered a key point about how important it is for us to try new things and keep our mind open.
I explained this situation to a mentor of mine and he said it has “created a wedge between work and life” and went on about how having that wedge can make you more relaxed and content at work. I had found a piece of the puzzle.
Conclusion to Part 1
I am currently sitting here finishing this blog on a Friday afternoon. Tomorrow is deadlift night and I have called for 300kg x5 reps with no belt. I repeat the mantra ‘I will be great,’ even typing it rips passion through my soul is a I envision a destructive and successful set. I have a ‘why’ attached and it isn’t foggy any more.
In this blog, part 1 of ‘A Wedge In Your Life,’ I have gone over my experience of the
importance of doing something new and exciting in my life that has heightened the performance of all the other aspects of my life because I am a lot happier. Accountability: In part 2 I will tell you how I destroyed 300kg for 5 reps and got rid of the fog surrounding my ‘why’ and how the mantra ‘I will be great’ came to be.
Thank you for reading, I hope you were able to take something away for yourself! :)
- Jake Fisher